"You're not alone , together we stand . I'll be by your side you know i'll take your hand . "

Im sick of being emo . i need to start being myself once more . no more hiding who i really am . I hate the past for being a painful memory to swallow . I hate those days where i wished i could disappear . I hate it when people says im being emo just to get his attention .

"You said forever and always."
people just dont understand me sometimes . if i don't want to be in a relationship then i dont want to be in a relationship . Why is it so hard for people to understand ? maybe im not like all of you . maybe im different and i want to make a difference in my surrounding . Let me explain why i dont want to be in a relationship at the moment .

number one ; i want to save myself from all those nonsense where guys cheat on you etc , etc . its annoying i tell you . when you plan to be with someone , you shold not have anyone on your mind . but some guys are just players and treat you like an option .

number two ; i know that being in a relationship will not last . why bother being in a relationship when in the end you're gonna break up anyways ? people say "I love you forever" please , don't misuse the word "FOREVER" it means a lot although you never actually realised . If you mean it , then why break up with the girl ? get my whole picture ?

number three ; i dont want to experience temporary love . what i mean by that is , i don't want to be involve in a relationship when i know i wont be the one who's gonna marry that guy . how sure are you that you're gonna marry the one whom you're with now? are you really sure you guys can tolerate each other till you say your marriage vows ? from my observations , a few friends whom i known were together from quite some time , they ended up with their separate ways in the end . i thought they were gonna be together till they get marry . but .. who said that stories should always end with happily ever after ?

number four ; i dont want to spoil my teenage life . there's soo many things that you can do with being single . you can mingle . you get to observe things here and there without actually having a guy there telling you what to do . its like you're not in control or something . which is pretty annoying . to add on this , i dont want to be trap under a thumb . you see , some guys are really protective over their girl friends . they'll make sure they don't talk to guys , walk home with guys . make sure they'll meet them , make them tell everything . its annoying . you dont have a life when you're under a guy's spell . and i see some of my friends crying just because their boy friend is angry because they did so and so . wake up . we have a life .

number five ; i don't want my future husband to be a second , third , or fourth choice :)
what i mean by that is , i want my husband to be the one and only man i'll be with . but of ocurse i'll have to ensure that he has everything on my qualification list :)
the things is , if i get into a relationship now , and then break up . stay single and finally met the perfect guy , how do i tell him that i had a ex- before him ? i want my guy to feel special . there's just so many guys out there whom i havent met . i dont want to rush into things . so there .

wouldnt it be sweet if the person whom you're gonna be with in the next 10 years is actually the person who was your childhood freind ?

yea , thats my whole point . if i rush into things now , i may not know what i have in store from God . I believe that God already made plans for me because He knew me even before I was formed in my mother's womb . I can't remember from which verse this is from but it is written in the bibile :)

i made mistakes but i promise i wont repeat them again . EVER .
just like what tashinie always says ; it is through mistakes that we learn . and it is from mistakes that we change .

thats all for now :)

"You're not alone , together we stand . I'll be by your side you know i'll take your hand . "

Im sick of being emo . i need to start being myself once more . no more hiding who i really am . I hate the past for being a painful memory to swallow . I hate those days where i wished i could disappear . I hate it when people says im being emo just to get his attention .

"You said forever and always."
people just dont understand me sometimes . if i don't want to be in a relationship then i dont want to be in a relationship . Why is it so hard for people to understand ? maybe im not like all of you . maybe im different and i want to make a difference in my surrounding . Let me explain why i dont want to be in a relationship at the moment .

number one ; i want to save myself from all those nonsense where guys cheat on you etc , etc . its annoying i tell you . when you plan to be with someone , you shold not have anyone on your mind . but some guys are just players and treat you like an option .

number two ; i know that being in a relationship will not last . why bother being in a relationship when in the end you're gonna break up anyways ? people say "I love you forever" please , don't misuse the word "FOREVER" it means a lot although you never actually realised . If you mean it , then why break up with the girl ? get my whole picture ?

number three ; i dont want to experience temporary love . what i mean by that is , i don't want to be involve in a relationship when i know i wont be the one who's gonna marry that guy . how sure are you that you're gonna marry the one whom you're with now? are you really sure you guys can tolerate each other till you say your marriage vows ? from my observations , a few friends whom i known were together from quite some time , they ended up with their separate ways in the end . i thought they were gonna be together till they get marry . but .. who said that stories should always end with happily ever after ?

number four ; i dont want to spoil my teenage life . there's soo many things that you can do with being single . you can mingle . you get to observe things here and there without actually having a guy there telling you what to do . its like you're not in control or something . which is pretty annoying . to add on this , i dont want to be trap under a thumb . you see , some guys are really protective over their girl friends . they'll make sure they don't talk to guys , walk home with guys . make sure they'll meet them , make them tell everything . its annoying . you dont have a life when you're under a guy's spell . and i see some of my friends crying just because their boy friend is angry because they did so and so . wake up . we have a life .

number five ; i don't want my future husband to be a second , third , or fourth choice :)
what i mean by that is , i want my husband to be the one and only man i'll be with . but of ocurse i'll have to ensure that he has everything on my qualification list :)
the things is , if i get into a relationship now , and then break up . stay single and finally met the perfect guy , how do i tell him that i had a ex- before him ? i want my guy to feel special . there's just so many guys out there whom i havent met . i dont want to rush into things . so there .

wouldnt it be sweet if the person whom you're gonna be with in the next 10 years is actually the person who was your childhood freind ?

yea , thats my whole point . if i rush into things now , i may not know what i have in store from God . I believe that God already made plans for me because He knew me even before I was formed in my mother's womb . I can't remember from which verse this is from but it is written in the bibile :)

i made mistakes but i promise i wont repeat them again . EVER .
just like what tashinie always says ; it is through mistakes that we learn . and it is from mistakes that we change .

thats all for now :)